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Alien visitors who are confused by the name “Earth” because according to their scans, the planet is mostly water. Who then assume our primary language is sarcasm.

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(Source: okoenig, via dangerhamster)

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(Source: sandandglass, via lasagn-yeah)

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fuckyeahmst3k:

Tommy Wiseau, ladies and gentlemen.

fuckyeahmst3k:

Tommy Wiseau, ladies and gentlemen.

(Source: getyourspoons, via a-bunch-of-a-holes)

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pandabearjayy:

The official Lana Del Rey album cover has LEAKED ya’ll!

pandabearjayy:

The official Lana Del Rey album cover has LEAKED ya’ll!

(via hardcoreyoloswag)

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hey, you. Yeah you!… or that other person. You know what totally belongs on your blog? A demonstration of my eyebrow game. You need it. You need it to breath, you just haven’t realised yet

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Anonymous asked: WHY DO YOU HATE THE STRAIGHT MENS. THEY DESERVE LOVE. THEY'RE FIGHTING FOR THEIR RIGHTS TOO

Straight men fighting for their rights is like being in 1st place in a Smash Bros tournament and still un-pausing the game when the other 3 are out of the room. 

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I got Tear and Share garlic bread, but at this point it really feels like Tear and Share why you hate straight men

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Just whispered “the Seattle skyline isn’t ready for you yet” to a garlic breads. I don’t even know the wisdom I was trying to impart on it.

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Some random people in the revenge smoking area claimed to recognise me from TV. So of course I told them I had been on Britain’s got talent paying ” the heart will go on” on the glasses.

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Today my hair has decided to make me look like a red setter 

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burlybard:

kingcheddarxvii:

If you’re making a comic about social justice on tumblr and it looks like this, stop. Take a step away and locate the nearest cat and hug it until your bad ideas go away

Every time a comic that looks like this, but in earnest, makes the rounds on Tumblr, it should do the artists well to remember: your comic is so profoundly unoriginal that there are rebuttals like this one that have already been drawn.

(via makotokinoo)

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Watching a shakespearean play is a lot like that video where non english speakers do their impressions of English speakers. Like it all sounds vaguely like English but at the same time like gibberish. 

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"Everyone wants to be Batman, but everyone should be Captain America."

Captain America Doesn’t Need To Be A Jerk To Be Interesting   (via jeffreyeugenides)

Personally, I want to be Batgirl or Wonder Woman.

(via valorfaerie)

Screw that, be Galactus if you can.

(Source: juvjuvychan, via wyldeinbed)

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mostingeniusparadox:

Batwoman #29